It's been a while. I'm in a breakdown. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. That fake smile is getting harder by the second. Hm.

Get to know me.

I realised there's not many people that really know who I am, or know about the little strange things in my life. I'm pretty average, but everyone has their weird and wonderful things that makes them them. So here's a.. brief-ish description.

My name's Kayleigh. I'm Seventeen. It's cliche, but my best friends are Kelsey-Leigh, Megan, Jamie , Matthew, and Hannah. Without these people, life would be weirder than it is already. I have three cats, a dog and a rabbit. I love acoustic music, but my taste can vary, and I'm willing to give anything a chance. When I was born, I was known as Samantha to my family, then my mum decided two days in that she didn't like it, and so my birth certificate was changed. I find it extremely hard to trust people, which makes me appear shy when I first get to know you. I believe that experiences lead to maturity, rather than your age. I was more mature than some people my age when I was eight. I can fake a smile like it's the easiest thing on earth to do. I won't tell people the big things that bother me. There's only two people I trust completely in this whole world, and that's because they've earned it. I miss people quickly, but I don't fall easily. If I tell you I love you I mean it. I don't believe they are words to just be thrown around. I am paranoid, and I do read into things way too much. My mind thinks its that of a detective, and fits pieces together, although I'm usually right, sometimes it's incredibly wrong. I don't think I could stand being alone for a long period of time. Two days is bad enough. I can't wait to be twenty one with qualifications just so I can get out of here and do something interesting and new. I get bored of life quickly. I dislike change, unless its a huge change. I have days where a dead leaf could make me cry. They happen quite frequently lately. I'm sensitive, and I hate myself, literally. I don't feel like I deserve pity, because there's other people out there worse off than me. Simply because they don't have the friends and family I have.

What happened to taking me to neverland?

I'm starting to grow up. I've changed. I don't like part of the change, but I'm growing up, and that has to be for the best right?

The heart wants what it wants.

I think the worst feeling in the world is hunger. Whether it be hunger for food, or hunger for a certain thing, we need to grasp what it is that will fill that empty space. The missing piece of the puzzle, that one part that completes us, because without that part completing us, we are lifeless. We can not achieve what we are meant to in life. That piece may be dangled over a river filled with crocodiles, but you have to reach it. Don't put obstacles in the way of opportunities. Maybe you've had that piece and lost it so many times. It does not matter. If you realise that it fills that gap, you reach for it, and hold onto it. Tightly. Before someone else does. Because opportunity does not hang around forever. Eventually that string will snap.

Today has never happened before.

Goodbye really is one of the hardest things to say. I'm gonna miss that little ball of fluff. She's been there since I was fourish. Oh well, it's cruel keeping her alive. She'll be fine now. Rest in peace Sindy. You rule. Haha, I'm sad. On the plus side, he's living five minutes away instead of forty now. Wednesday was a pretty great day overall, the little conversations we had about silly little things. I think things are going to look up again, even though the bottle is empty now. Next weekend will be beautiful, with beautiful people, and hopefully, beautiful weather. Let's just wait and see, and pray for sunshine.

"You can catch me, don't you run. Don't you run."

Today is going to be a lazy day of starvation, and smiles. I'm going to make the most of this sunshine, around the company of friends, as my family go out and party tonight. I should be reading novels ready for my english exam, but I'd rather not. How dare A level english destroy reading for me. How dare it. I'm looking forward to doing full time media next year, have a break from Baglow's face, and the burden of philosophy. Although, I hope I pass these exams.

Thankyou.

I find it funny how we forget our main inspirations. When you look inside an album cover, at the thanks section, you read all the people who inspired the artist during the making of the album. If I had to write a thank you to all the people who have inspired me throughout the making of me, this would be it.

Thankyou: Mum, for being the best mum possible in certain situations, Dad, for being the best dad possible from a distance, Geeg, for being the person i got to argue with every day, but could also cry to when I needed to. Him, for making me learn not to hate people, even in extremely bad situations. You also made me good at keeping secrets. To Natacha, for being a pretty amazing friend, and laughing with me and at me, about stupid little things, and for being my shoulder to cry on at hard times. To Jamie, for always being there, for a laugh, or for one of your hugs. And for plank, of course. To Matthew, for providing me with the giggle fits on a friday night, and saving my life constantly on WoW. We argue a lot, but you still mean a damn lot to me. To Kelsey-Leigh, for being my bitching buddy, because every girl needs a good bitch, oh, and for buying me a mini milk, and just being you. To Richard, for being so cuddly, and making me smile without even trying. You rule. To Hannah, for being one of those people that's stuck by me through thick and thin, and hopefully always will be there to make me giggle. To Stuart, for being my best acquaintance through two of the hardest years of my life, providing me with good music, and a whole new dose of nerdyness. Don't ever change. Any of you. Please.

To help us grow.

A pretty good song, from a pretty good film.

Goodnight, Goodmorning.

I love it when you have a good night. You wake up with your messy hair, and your big panda eyes, but the most important feature of your face that morning is your smile. That smile that just won't go away. It refuses. It puts up an endless fight. I think I'm a morning person now.

We share the same sky.

"And then I feel as if I'm witnessing a miracle, as ever so slowly she raises her face towards the moon. I watch her drink in the sight, sensing the flood of memories she's unleashed and wanting nothing more than to let her know I'm here. But instead I stay where I am and stare up at the moon as well. And for the briefest instant, it almost feels like we're together again."